


In the Void

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Drama, episode-related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-23
Updated: 2003-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events in Zero, Chloe and Lex compare notes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Void

## In the Void

by Aklani

<http://www.teresakay.net>

* * *

The party at the Talon was nothing like Club Zero. The music was subdued, with a distinct Country/Western flair; slowed down to the leisurely pace of Smallville's pulse. There were no strobe lights or scantily-clad dancing girls with bright, neon body-paint shining in the black light. Coffee and cola were served, and Lex was fairly certain there weren't any guests in the bathroom doing things they shouldn't. 

Drugs. 

Sex. 

Lex sighed as his eyes scanned the crowd. He doubted eighty-year-old Mrs. Laskey from the Smallville Public Library was the type to snort a line of coke before screwing a perfect stranger in a public bathroom. Sex was always better with drugs - that had always been Lex's SOP. When you were juiced up on coke it was easy to forget nobody really loved you, and made the person you were with somewhat tolerable. 

Club Zero had always been Lex's safe haven before the whole fucking mess with Amanda and Jude happened. Zero Consequences, the club's infamous catch phrase, was apt in Lex's case. Kasitch was easy to bribe, and the place was on Phalen's beat - Phalen, the babysitter Lionel had hired to keep Lex out of trouble. It all added up to Lex feeling virtually untouchable whenever he walked through the doors. He owned Club Zero, he knew it, and beneath its pulsing strobe lights or dark inner corridors, Lex felt safe enough to get totally fucked up. So he did, both figuratively and literally. 

He suddenly felt the need to escape. The milling crowd, the dull music, and the aches and pains leftover from his brief sojourn as a punching bag, were making him feel ill. It was easy to slip out the front doors out of the overly warm theater, and into the coolness of a bright autumn night. He found himself able to breathe again. The thought made his lips curl in a small, bitter smile. 

The asthma was gone, had been gone, for a long time, but like the phantom pain of a severed limb, Lex remembered quite clearly what it felt like. He'd caught himself on several occasions feeling as if his throat were closing up on him, his lungs burning for air that simply could not reach them. Sometimes, like now, he savored the crispness of cold air, which cut through the closed up feeling like a sharp knife, allowing him to breathe again. It was all in his head of course. He was perfectly healthy, abnormally healthy. 

It didn't stop him from leaning against the Talon's brick exterior and drawing in a deep breath. He let it out again slowly, in a long white plume, as his warmth escaped into the night. Home beckoned, but Lex felt obligated to stay for at least a little while longer. He was, after all, Lana's silent partner in the new coffee shop enterprise. Additionally he wanted to talk to Clark again, ask him over after the shindig concluded. 

Lex sighed as he looked out over the town. It was fairly quiet, even though by Metropolis standards it was still early. Smallville, Lex reasoned, was like a big breath of cool, soothing air after the closed-up atmosphere of Metropolis. Everything in Smallville was wide open, uncomplicated, including the inhabitants. Lex bitched and moaned about his exile to his father of course, Lionel expected nothing less, but if truth be told, Lex was feeling more and more comfortable every day. He wondered if given the opportunity he would even go back to Metropolis. 

Footsteps on the pavement drew his attention. Chloe Sullivan was hastening up the sidewalk toward the Talon. She looked fairly distracted, chewing on her lip, and when Lex spoke to her, she reacted as if she had not seen him. 

"Deep thoughts?" he asked quietly. 

She started, then relaxed as she determined his identity. "Just - thinking. I'm glad to see you in one piece." 

"I'm quite pleased to be in one piece." Hesitantly he continued. He suspected Chloe's deep thoughts had something to do with Clark, and thus chose his words carefully, hoping to spur a conversation on the topic. "I would like to give Clark the credit for it, but as usual, his involvement is circumspect and how exactly the situation was resolved is left a mystery." 

Chloe looked down at her hands, picking idly at her nails for a moment before looking back up at him. "I know what you mean. There are too many mysteries surrounding Clark," she said quietly. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lex regarded her carefully. "You're the reporter, Chloe. What does that tell you?" 

Her answer was prompt. 

"That he's more than he seems." 

Lex shrugged, playing devil's advocate. "But from what I've heard, the Kent clan has always been rather reclusive, dating back to Jonathan Kent's father. Martha and Jonathan rarely went into town before they adopted Clark, and in fact still don't venture far from the farm even now." 

She cocked an eyebrow. "You've done your research. Do you always dig into your friends' personal lives?" 

"Do you?" Lex asked archly, and she flinched. 

"Not until recently," Chloe said with a sigh. "And I'm sorry I did. I don't think Clark will ever trust me again." She hesitated, then added, "Clark's adoption is circumspect. I'm not sure it was entirely legal." 

"Ah," Lex nodded. "I see. You had Clark's name for that little school project. I was there when he interviewed Lana. How did you do?" 

"Well, the only usable information I got is that he hates peas, and in first grade he shoved a bully through a wooden door." 

Lex's voice went soft. "Did he?" he breathed. "Fascinating." 

"I keep shifting it around in my head, trying to put together a puzzle with more than a few pieces missing. Every route I take leads me to the same conclusion." 

"Which is?" 

Her eyes met his. "The people in Smallville who have suffered mutations from exposure to the meteors have exhibited super-human strength, among other things. Clark's under-the-table adoption coincided with the meteor shower. You do the math." 

"I've done the math, but there is a fly in the ointment. Unlike the others, Clark hasn't shown any homicidal tendencies." 

"Yet." 

Lex cocked his head to the side slightly. "Does the fact he _could_ bother you?" 

Chloe's eyes flickered away. She was, Lex realized, trying not to let her emotions show. Tears were very close to the surface. "He's my friend. Of course it bothers me. I don't want anything to happen to him. This whole thing with Lana - what if he loses patience, gets tired of waiting, and decides just to have her regardless?" 

"And not you?" 

She returned her gaze to him. "We're not talking about me. I'm not the one Clark loves." 

"Neither is Lana." 

Chloe blinked, then frowned. "What?" 

Shifting his weight, Lex pushed himself away from the wall and took a step toward her. "Clark has a lot of secrets, Chloe. He lets very few facts about himself out to anyone, including his close friends. I for instance, was unaware of his aversion to peas and his heroic bully thwarting." 

"And yet he tells you things other people don't know." She nodded, understanding. "Like what?" 

"Well, after my unsuccessful attempts to shove him more aggressively toward Lana, he admitted to me that his attraction to her is purely for show. Beyond friendship, he has no interest in Lana at all." Lex shrugged, and his smile was somewhat wicked. "Now her boyfriend on the other hand....." 

Lex had to ask himself why he enjoyed doing things like this. It was his penchant for meddling and his love of melodrama, that had gotten him in trouble at Club Zero. He'd known full well Jude was going to be at the club that night, and he'd known how devastated Amanda would be upon catching her fiance in a lie. True, he had possessed affection for Amanda, as a friend and possibly a lover, but it had been overridden by the urge to create a "situation." 

He'd just created a "situation" with Chloe, and like the coke habit he'd quit years ago, it gave him a delightful buzz. Would this manipulation come back to bite him in the ass too? Lex wasn't sure, and at the moment, didn't care. 

Chloe's eyes narrowed. "What are you trying to tell me? Clark's gay?" 

"Yes." 

"Heh." She shook her head, laughing slightly. "I don't believe you." 

"Ask him. You know how he is about lying. He won't deny it, but he'll certainly not admit it." Her face fell and Lex knew she believed him, she was just disappointed. "Put yourself in his shoes, Chloe. Theoretically he has the strength to seriously hurt someone. He's gay in a small farming community. If he were to come out, and ended up the victim of someone's prejudice, it wouldn't be Clark who would get hurt. So as he began getting older, and people started wondering why he's not dating, he concocted the whole Lana obsession as a cover. Saying 'I've always liked Lana' isn't a lie, he probably does like her. He would not, however, sleep with her, I can guarantee it." 

"Why has he always watched her through that telescope in the loft then?" 

Lex laughed. "Chloe, he's not watching Lana, he's watching the quarterback." 

"Whitney?" 

"Yes." 

Chloe wrapped her arms around herself, and not because of the cold. She appeared rather shell-shocked. "How do you know this?" 

"He told me." 

"And you're betraying his confidence?" 

"I trust you," Lex said softly. "I think we're on the same playing field." 

It took her a moment to figure out what he was saying this time. Her mind was quick to be sure, but she seemed to be overwhelmed by all she'd learned in such a short span of time. The first impulse, as signified by the abrupt raise of her head when comprehension dawned, was denial. She quickly realized she couldn't deny her feelings for Clark, not in the face of one who shared them. 

"You're in love with him too?" she whispered. "But you...." 

"Bi." 

"Oh." 

The word was flat, expressionless, signifying a dull acceptance of her role, or non-role, in Clark's life. 

Lex put his hands in his pockets. "I wouldn't call it love, per se." 

Or would he? He was never quite sure how to define the feeling. When he interacted with Clark, it was if everything were right in the world. When Clark left, it hurt. 

"And Clark?" 

"Has the same bitter pill to swallow. Whitney is as straight as an arrow, and the saintly Ms. Lang is  <i>not</i> a virgin, at least according to her aunt." 

That brought a faint grin to Chloe's lips. "You have done your research." 

"I like to be thorough, or as thorough as one can be where Clark is concerned." 

"You should go into journalism." 

Lex smiled. "The thought had crossed my mind, but alas, my destiny seems to lie elsewhere." He paused. "Chloe, I'm asking you not to reveal what I've told you to anyone, particularly Clark. Not for my sake, but for his." 

She sighed, nodding. "I won't. Like you said, we're on the same playing field." She raised her eyes to the big marquee above the Talon's doors. "Suddenly I'm not in a partying sort of mood. I think I'm just going to go home." 

"I think I may just do that myself." Lex felt the tightness of his phantom asthma in his chest. "It's been a long day." 

And he realized he didn't have the strength to spend time with Clark tonight, not when he was allowed only to look, but not touch. 

* * *

"So what's going on between you and Chloe?" Lex asked quietly. 

It was Saturday. Clark was making his usual produce delivery and doing his usual dawdling about getting back home. He'd made Lex last on his route, so no one else would have to wait on their turnips, allowing himself time for said dawdling. 

They were sitting on the back steps drinking cola. Lex disallowed any beverage beside what came in a can to be given Clark. Once he'd given Clark a Ty Nant, and the sight of his lips closing around the top of the bottle's long neck, had given Lex a hard-on. He went away from the encounter with a set of balls to match the bottle - blue - and from that day forth Clark drank from a can, or a glass, or he did not get anything to drink at all. 

Clark watched some leaves blow across the driveway. They rustled against the cobblestones, then swirled up into the breeze and on into the lawn. He sipped his cola and shrugged. 

"Why?" 

"I just noticed she wasn't at the party last night." 

"Yeah, I called her later. She said she had started to come, but felt sick, so she stayed home." 

"I thought you two were fighting?" 

"We were, but we worked it out." Clark turned to look at him, and changed the subject. "How are you feeling? I noticed you left early yourself." 

"Tired, but well enough. The headache finally went away." 

"Good, I was worried about that." 

"Hmm, yeah. Good thing that sofa mysteriously relocated itself right beneath the balcony." 

Even with a distance of two feet between them, Lex could sense Clark stiffen. He wondered if there would ever come a day when Clark was comfortable enough with lying not to let his body language betray him as it did. Lex was well in tune with Clark's body language. Like anything that triggered his obsessiveness, Clark's body had come under Lex's close scrutiny. If Clark noticed the looks, he never commented on them. It made Lex wonder if Clark's self-depreciation wasn't also a ruse. Did Clark realize he was beautiful? 

Lex let the subject drop, and steered the conversation back to Chloe. "Chloe has quite a crush on you, Clark." 

"I know. Pete told me, and I've seen her watching me when she thought I wasn't looking." 

By virtue of more lying experience, Lex _didn_ ' _t_ flinch, but he chided himself for his moment of distress. Clark knew he was bisexual. If he saw Lex looking at him "that way" it probably didn't surprise him enough to comment. 

"Perhaps you should tell her the truth." 

Clark sighed. "I was going to, but then she pulled her investigative reporter trip and dug around in my personal life." 

Lex coughed slightly. Clark looked over at him, and they both grinned. 

"I know, I know. I'm the pot calling the kettle black, but it was different in my case. You were in trouble. I had to do something." 

"How does Chloe know you aren't in trouble? The Kent family is known to be secretive. Say you're being held against your will, that you were kidnapped as a child...." 

Bursting out with a laugh, Clark shook his head. "Oh, come on!" 

"Read the headlines. It happens all the time. Or, here's another scenario - the Kents found you during the meteor shower. As if you were a lost dog, when they couldn't find your parents they kept you for themselves." 

The can in Clark's hand made a small crinkling sound, indicative of a tightening of his grip. 

_Aha_. _So that_ ' _s_ _it_. 

"All I'm saying is cut her a little slack. She loves you, Clark. She's going to be obsessive when it comes to anything about you. You're pursuing a girl you don't care about just to get close to a boy you have no hope of winning. Now _that_ is hypocrisy, not to mention futile." 

"That's not the only reason," Clark murmured. 

"You're making yourself miserable." 

"My life is a lie, from start to finish. I'm destined to be miserable." 

"Then come clean." 

Clark shook his head. "You know, it's easy for you. You're protected. You have the power to make people leave you alone. I don't. Maybe you don't do it on purpose like my dad says, but you can buy yourself out of just about anything. Look at what happened with Jude Royce? You could have been arrested for murder, you confessed to it because you knew you could get out of it. I can't do that, Lex." 

They fell silent. Another gust of wind rattled in the skeletons of the trees lining the long driveway, and another swirl of leaves danced across the lawn. It had grown perceptively colder since Clark had arrived. Lex could smell snow in the air. 

"Zero consequences," he murmured. 

"Exactly," Clark replied. "For you, not for me." He rose fluidly to his feet. "I have to get home. Mom's baking pies. I've been assigned apple peeling duty." Rolling his eyes, he handed his empty can to Lex. "Stuck in the kitchen all afternoon. Oh, joy." 

Lex laughed. He nodded toward the gray skies. "It's going to snow anyway. I'm holing up in the library with a roaring fire and a good book." 

"Sounds better than peeling apples." Clark took a step toward the truck, then turned back around. "Maybe I'll have a little talk with Chloe. I sure know how much it sucks to have a crush on someone who doesn't - you know - reciprocate." 

"That might be a good idea." Lex replied gently. "Before her obsession turns dark. We've seen that before with some of Lana's other suitors." 

Their eyes met. The phantom asthma reared its ugly head. 

"I'm not like that, Lex. I'm not going to try to off Whitney just because he's not interested." 

"I know." 

_Who said I was referring to you_? 

Clark's shoulders relaxed. He smiled. Lex's throat closed up completely. 

"I'll tell mom to save you a pie." 

Lex nodded, and watched Clark's descent down the driveway until the truck vanished around the turn. His fingers closed tighter around the empty can he held. It crinkled as he slowly crushed it in his hand. 

**~~FIN~~**


End file.
